He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just cropdusted the office
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize