I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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