if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I party with great urgency now.
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