So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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