Me too!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
