worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize