last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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