Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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