I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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