I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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