There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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