just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you didnt know i had herpes?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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