stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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