are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
