my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
