I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
