Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
