Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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