your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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