I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
sick fucks of a feather flock together
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
