Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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