Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
