did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
