So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
