playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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