I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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