People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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