He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ttyl tear gas
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
