dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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