C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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