i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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