Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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