Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
