Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
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National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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