We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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