I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
