It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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