he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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