Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dick very happy bro
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