Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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