I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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