My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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He keeps bees of course he's weird
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize