if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
