You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
