thus making me awesome and them whores
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
