Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
