she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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