How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
