It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
