If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
