Pants 0. Shit 1.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's always time for handjobs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The power of my boobs compel you
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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