): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize