she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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