So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
