loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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