garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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