He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
