This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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