you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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