I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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