I just cut my nipple shaving
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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