Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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