Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again. http://tfl.nu/8buk
  Replies (81) Good night (5086) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on http://tfl.nu/bnaa
  Replies (24) Good night (583) Bad night (5090)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex.. http://tfl.nu/g01t
  Replies (17) Good night (5050) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9
  Replies (29) Good night (4371) Bad night (3378)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/c0nn
  Replies (11) Good night (2243) Bad night (4910)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now http://tfl.nu/aoyo
  Replies (22) Good night (4458) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/z3qk
  Replies (7) Good night (5452) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/kdws
  Replies (8) Good night (2994) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday... http://tfl.nu/8w3z
  Replies (3) Good night (2448) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there. http://tfl.nu/jyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (2855) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all... http://tfl.nu/2j9n
  Replies (11) Good night (568) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured (617): I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed http://tfl.nu/ilci
  Replies (14) Good night (2539) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times." http://tfl.nu/zubu
  Replies (6) Good night (2481) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Wat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday. (763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo (612): Wat http://tfl.nu/5jqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (414)

Randomize