Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.

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(516): View more from New York

Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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(317): View more from Indiana

I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.

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(907): View more from Alaska

He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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(406): View more from Montana

I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.

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(206): View more from Washington

after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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