Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.

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(636): Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly. http://tfl.nu/3gr1

Replies (23) Good night (5120) Bad night (591)
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(858): View more from California

in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

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(858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby" http://tfl.nu/q8vs

Replies (54) Good night (1999) Bad night (4718)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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(214): Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love. http://tfl.nu/wggk

Replies (10) Good night (6076) Bad night (970)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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(847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl

Replies (47) Good night (14091) Bad night (1391)
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(903): View more from Texas

The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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(903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x

Replies (21) Good night (7384) Bad night (1759)
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(858): View more from California

Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

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(858): Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel. http://tfl.nu/fcxh

Replies (21) Good night (4688) Bad night (1046)
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(210): View more from Texas

Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall

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(210): Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall http://tfl.nu/30d7

Replies (5) Good night (2314) Bad night (888)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor

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(630): She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor http://tfl.nu/iwft

Replies (7) Good night (2145) Bad night (979)
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(469): View more from Texas

Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf

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(469): Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf http://tfl.nu/kuum

Replies (6) Good night (1476) Bad night (688)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

(773): View more from Illinois

I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

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(312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t

Replies (2) Good night (1495) Bad night (507)
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(937): View more from Ohio

NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!

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(937): NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!! http://tfl.nu/92wz

Replies (2) Good night (1503) Bad night (375)
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(316): View more from Kansas

She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.

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(316): She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/tcs7

Replies (13) Good night (702) Bad night (1928)
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(765): View more from Indiana

We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.

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(765): We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven. http://tfl.nu/19wc

Replies (3) Good night (1360) Bad night (486)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

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(603): seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed. http://tfl.nu/l8pu

Replies (6) Good night (236) Bad night (414)
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(772): View more from Florida

Are you proud of yourself?

(407): View more from Florida

ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.

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(772): Are you proud of yourself? (407): ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off. http://tfl.nu/2m9x

Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (279)

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