Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
