Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.