this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
