Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize